Hi friends! LOTS of updates for you all, so dive into the fun. Let’s start in true sunshine fashion with the good news..I’m done with radiation and my back feels better! Whoop! Radiation was an absolute breeze compared to my first time (I’ll start referring to that as Chapter 1). And finally I have some relief in my back. I haven’t had to take any of my pain pills in 5 days. It’s still sore..but nothing like the lightening, hot poker pain of the past few months.
Unfortunately poor little Desmond came down with RSV which basically is a nasty respiratory virus. We had to take him to Children’s Hospital Wednesday night because he was having such a hard time breathing. I tell ya, that kid has an uncanny ability to get real sick when I’m facing major health issues. Last time was 5 days after my mastectomy. Thankfully he’s much better now but he’s been home since Thursday. Which means Brian and I have missed a TON of work. The stress got the better of me yesterday and I came down with a stomach virus. Jesus, I just read this paragraph and had a flashback to my 90 year old Grandma. Complain, complain, complain. It does help to forget about your own terminal illness when your sweet baby boy is shallow breathing and hot with fever.
I was able to escape for a few hours on Saturday though and meet up with a lovely woman named Julie who is my new Stage 4 CB (cancer buddy). I met her through a friend and she’s been my guru for the past few weeks over email (and then finally in person). First of all she gave me the most hope I’ve had yet, she had the EXACT same diagnosis as me (except her bone spots included her skull – scary!) and now SEVEN years later there is no sign of cancer any where!!
Now, I must stop and clarify something here. Unless a cure for cancer is finally found, you are never FREE of cancer once you are Stage 4. So even though there is no sign of cancer on her bones, she is still in treatment. It is a truth of us stage 4s that we will be in treatment of some sort or another for the rest of our lives. But still…to hear that she has lived with this for 7 years and has clean scans is amazing to hear!
And then she took me to my first support group made up of women living with Stage 4. And there the real inspiration began. These woman are like Yoda and Confucius all wrapped into one (wise little wrinkled guy). There were 3 women that have been living with S4 for TWELVE years!! 12! and the amount of knowledge these woman have about medications and treatments could fill a text book. The thing I was most struck by was the grace in how they handle the thought of death. I know that sounds odd, but they have a peace and serenity when talking about it. But also a fierceness that they are LIVING with cancer (as opposed to dying of it). This group will be immeasurably powerful for me to attend monthly.
And then of course there is the stunning love and generosity so many of you are showing me. Brian’s mom has saved our life this week with helping to care for Desmond. Alyssa and David sent a lovely birchwood angel from Austrailia and Tanhya’s boyfriend has a patron saint of cancer survivors blessed by his priest and sent to me. My work family has been BEYOND supportive this week. And many of you contributed to get us meal deliveries once a week. I was blown away by that generosity and let me tell you..the food is AMAZING. and so healthy! You know I have to eat more veggies and this awesome food will certainly help.
So after a trying week, I feel lucky and happy and hopeful. What else could a gal ask for? Oh…and I’m actually liking my hair these days (it’s getting longer!) so I’m including a picture of the length. 🙂 Love and kittens to you all!
