One of my guilty pleasures is Coldplay. And this video and song just thrills me. They are so good at the big emotional build. Love it! Check it out…

http://vimeo.com/25816270

Hi friends.  It’s been a while since I’ve posted so I figured I should do a quick update.  I’m definitely getting more tired than ever before. The cumulative affects of chemo have started to catch up with me.  When I’m able to stay home I’m napping one or two times a day – which totally helps.  I’ve definitely struggled with nausea the past week since treatment.  And on top of that…I now have a cold and cough. Whew – not a very cheery post! Brian was able to stay home with me yesterday and wait on me and hand and foot, so that helped.  There was some barfing, so he got the ugly end of it. But I was able to go in and get fluids and anti-nausea meds both Sunday and yesterday, so I’m hoping those will get me through the rest of the week with less nausea.

We had an incident with Desmond on Monday where he bit one of his friends at school three times!  Ack!  Of course I went right to parent guilt of thinking it’s related to me being sick and not being able to pay enough attention to him.  Let’s blame his biting on cancer too! 😉  But my parent friends, his teachers and his pediatrician assured us that it is completely normal for his age and we’ve had no more problems over the past two days.  If anything though it was a good reminder to put family first above everything.  When I only have a little bit of energy, it’s going to get poured into Desmond and Brian (and of course taking care of myself).

A quick shout out to all of you that have been continuing to send cards, notes, meals, gifts, etc.  It means the absolute world to me!  And I’m honestly so touched and amazed that you all are still on this journey with me after all these months.  The best thing in the world is I only have one more treatment of the red devil.  How great is that??

Had my 3rd chemo treatment today. Feeling real tired from the ‘amend’ which is one of the anti-nausea meds but no nausea yet. In fact I just polished off a bowl of americone dream ice cream. Delish!

I have no doubt the nausea will kick in by morning, but I’m going in for fluids and meds both Sunday and Monday to hopefully head off the worst that usually hits on Monday. Cross your fingers that going two days in a row will help.

My treatment was bookended by some wonderful things. On the way to chemo I got to visit my beautiful friend Laura and her 5 day old son. He is absolutely gorgeous and it was amazing to hold him. Then we got home to our very clean house thanks to our cleaners and I had an awesome gift bag full of bath goodies and more from my lovely friend Michelle who just moved to west Seattle. Yay!

I know the coming week is going to be difficult. Beyond the bad nausea, supposedly I’m going to get way more tired with this round. But I’ll persevere and lean heavily on friends and family. I’ve found hugs and laughing to be just excellent therapy. They’ve taken the place of cupcakes and wine these days (OMG I do so miss my red wine!!!).

Here are some photos from treatment. The vial is that damn red devil. Only 1 more of those to go!!

…my poor little guy gets sick.  Desmond had a rough weekend that has unfortunately extended to today.  He’s had some epic diarrhea and was up from 12am – 2am last night.  Needless to say Brian and I are a little exhausted.  I’m supposed to be real careful about getting exposed to germs, but it’s pretty much impossible for me to keep from holding and comforting my poor little chap.  Luckily Brian is taking on all diapers which is a heroic duty to say the least.  Usually my white cell count builds up the week of treatment, so I should be just fine.  Send us luck that little D will be better tomorrow and we’ll all sleep through the night tonight.

hi friends and family!  After a rough week I’m starting to climb back out of the worst of it.  I was able to work Thursday and Friday…which was a lot of fun due to a video shoot I was helping with both days.  Have I mentioned how much I love my new job?  I’ve been able to finally eat more and today I’m back to just a little bit of nausea (which is kind of a permanent deal these days).  I went in for my blood test on Thursday (my white blood cell count was 2.1 – so bad but not REAL bad) and I had a great talk with my oncology nurse.  She said that a lot of times patients get real down after the 2nd dose.  You go into the first chemo treatment with all this adrenaline and then after the second you kind of take a mental and physical crash.  It was great to hear that I wasn’t the only one that really struggles and I’m already feeling way more perky and back to my old (albeit bald) self.

Speaking of bald…I finally have some more images from the “big shave”.  I put together the highlights below…hope you enjoy the photos.  I’ll post more soon of my new wig looks.  Hope you all enjoy your weekend.  Much love….

Oh friends…I’m having a real tough week. I’m home sick for a second day. It’s just a constant feeling of nausea and exhaustion. And to top it off, today is a killer headache. I’m really feeling sorry for myself this week. And so DONE with chemo. It could be worse…I’m not throwing up this week. So there’s the silver lining! But I’m overwhelmed with the knowledge that I’m really in the beginning stages of all the chemo.

I’ve been so lucky though with all the meals and gifts from friends lately. Renee and Erin S., who are both expecting babies this Fall, made such yummy meals. And Kelly made us curry and naan and macaroons! And I just got a kindle gift certificate from Laura and satin pillow case from Kim. Oh and Dani made me these great notecards. Such sweet, generous friends. All this encouragement and love really helps me get through the crappy days like today. I will survive.

Big day today…I shaved my hair off. Over the past few days my hair really started falling out so I was anxious to just pull the trigger and take matters into my own hands. My besties Kim, Colleen and Erin came by this morning with champagne, wigs, hats, clippers and laughter and we set to work. I’ll share more pictures through the week (there are some heeelarious ones), but for now I’ll share the 3 below.

I’ve been pretty nauseated all weekend unfortunately. I’m going in for fluids and some anti-nausea meds tomorrow, so I’m hoping that keeps me a little less queasy this week. Right now I’d like to go to sleep for a couple of days. But tomorrow I get to debut one of my new wigs at work…so that’s something to look forward to!

We are HALF WAY through the real tough chemo drugs (the red devil as one is called) – 2 out of the 4 done.  My treatment today was fine.  Colleen came up for lunch to keep me company, which was lovely, and I listened to some music while working.  I joked to the nurses that it’s really a lot like a spa….just sitting around relaxing.  Unfortunately I haven’t felt so great this evening.  I’m extremely tired (which is expected) but I also have some nausea, which is definitely NOT expected.  They pump me so full of anti-nausea meds I should feel like a million bucks.  I’m hoping it’s just something I’m feeling tonight and that I’ll feel better by tomorrow morning.  I go in tomorrow for my nulestra shot (helps grow white blood cells).  Oooh – speaking of white blood cells – my count was 7.2 today which is REALLY good!!  Considering it was 1.2 last week, those little guys made a remarkable comeback.

And right on schedule….my hair started falling out today.  There are no big chunks falling out (that’s what I expected), its just a WHOLE lot of shedding.  The picture below is one sink full – I’ve filled the sink 3 times.  It’s a bit of a compulsion to sit there and comb it out.  It’s a little fascinating!  And you all, my wonderful friends and family, will be treated to a photo montage treat of different hairstyles this weekend.  Before I shave my head, the girls and I are going to have some fun with ridiculous haircuts.  Vote in comments if there’s a particular hairstyle you’d like to see…

I returned to work this week. It has been SO great to be back with my team and back in the mix of life at Starbucks. As a welcome back, most of my department wore pink in my honor yesterday. To say I was touched would be a big understatement. I also had a lovely poster in my cube and my team gave me a pink journal with our logo (see pics). I had a ton of energy the last two days which I’m sure had a lot to do with being back with my work friends and focusing on something other than the big C.

Now I’m at Swedish waiting for chemo treatment #2. I’ll update later with how that all is going. Xo

Happy 4th friends and family!!  Tomorrow’s a big day…I’m heading back to the office.  I’m really excited to see all my work friends, get caught up with everyone and dive into something beyond the big C.  Hopefully my energy level will become more predictable and I can plan around tough days.

The past few days have been challenging just due to the LACK of consistency.  My energy level has really gotten low, and then I’ll have these lovely burst of motivation to get out and do something with Brian and Desmond.  And then back to exhausted.   I haven’t been nauseated at all – so that is a HUGE relief.  I guess over the past few days I’ve been kind of sick and tired of being sick and tired.  It seems daunting to think this will go on for five more months, but I’m trying to just take it one treatment at a time.

Anyway, we were able to have a great weekend with lots of friends and Desmond joined his first parade (we only made it 2 blocks..but still pretty exciting!).  And now I’m sitting back with a glass of wine…the first in 6 days.  Unfortunately food and drink has no big appeal to me now…but I figured the night before returning to work I deserve a nice glass of red wine.

Hope you all are enjoying the long weekend and spending lots of time with the ones you love.  xoxo